Brighton: Court update

Deputy district dickhead (and judge) “Hang ’em” Mills last week gave an enthralling lesson in British justice to supporters of the Squat the Slope occupation, which was in court in Brighton to fight an IPO (the fast track possession claim). The squat has been there for almost a month, fighting a fantastic struggle against the university’s megalomaniac plans to turn all students into consumerbots.

Mills made a dramatic entrance, making us all wait five minutes in true rock star style. When he stormed in, he immediately set the tone by barking “Don’t approach me sit down this is MY court” at a squatter who simply wanted to hand him the occupation’s legal arguments. He asked the University of Sussex’s barrister to talk then cut him off (WTF?) and said “I don’t need to hear your arguments, I’ve read them already and I agree with your amendment” (WTF??) He then asked each of the four squatters “do you have a licence to be in possession?” and then cut off their replies. There was actually an implied licence argument in the papers he refused to look at! Justice was definitely not being served!!

Pausing only to talk about emailing his bestie the university barrister (WTF???), old hang ’em Mills didn’t bother to issue a verdict, gathered his papers and legged it out of the courtroom, leaving a shocked silence in the public gallery. “Was that it?” someone whispered. So to recap, Mills has won this month’s imaginary awards for the shortest trial AND the biggest arsehole AND the most flagrant miscarriage of justice. All in just five minutes. There ain’t no beating “Hang ’em” Mills.

Nevertheless, squatting continues.

-Some friends of the squat